Usage gripe of the day

Forgive me. I'm about to transform into a grizzled old pedant.

But I am annoyed. I just read a published news story in which the writer--like a shocking number of people in this country--misused the word "nonplused." (I will forgive her for using the variant spelling "nonplussed," which, I admit, does look more correct, or at least more American, and is at least in the dictionary.)

I'll bet the last ten times I have heard or read the word, it has been used incorrectly. I have no idea why so many people insist upon using this word when what they mean is the exact opposite. Nonplused means perplexed, confused, or at a loss. It does NOT mean unfazed or self-possessed.

I understand that none of us is perfect, and I have certainly misused or mispronounced my fair share of words in casual writing and everyday speech. But published writers--with copy-editors allegedly checking their work, I'm sure--ought to be more careful. While I applaud the efforts of those who explore the outer realms of our dwindling American vocabulary, I also wish more writers would stick to that handy old rule of thumb, "If you're not sure of the meaning, don't use the word."

Or that even handier rule, "Look it up."

Call me naïve...

... just call me! Kidding. But seriously, as jaded and cynical as I am in general, particularly regarding professional athletes, I kinda (dare I say it?!) believe Michael Irvin about this crack-pipe debacle.

For one thing, the story is just stupid enough to be true.

For another thing, now that I'm married, I frequently see Michael on TV in his job as a football commentator. And, while I always get a chuckle at his suits (tres outré), he always looks perfectly clean, sober, and on top of things.

Not like some crackheads we know.

And besides, when you hear him talk about all God's done for him, and how responsible he feels to help others... I don't know, my BS meter just doesn't go off. I'm not saying the guy's a saint or anything, I just happen to believe that for once, a pro-athlete's transformation just might be genuine.

But they still make the rockin' world go 'round.

This is the funniest news story you will read all day.

Freshmans R Dum

As some of you know, my younger sister is currently studying for her Ph.D. in English at Some University in Everytown. I've copied and pasted the following directly from an email she sent me:

A couple of TAs I know recently discovered that two of their students were cheating because they both misused the same couple of words...and they misused them spectacularly. Luckily, the TAs regularly share these gems with the rest of the graduate department and we all have a good, long laugh at these dolts' expense. Here are a few examples - the first two are from the cheaters; the other is from some other doofus.

1. the students repeatedly tried to refer to sleep deprivation....as "sleep depravity." Sounds interesting, doesn't it?

2. they referred to the occupants of a certain building as "occupiers," like those darn Nazi occupants who marched into Paris. ;)

3. and my personal favorite: the student intended to say that something happened from the get-go. Instead she said that it happened "right from the gecko."

Just goes to show you, it's far too easy to get into college these days.

RIP, Sam

The World's Ugliest Dog has died.

Sam, The World's Ugliest Dog

(1990-2005)

Sam, we hardly knew ye.

Oldie Hawn

In all honesty, I have always really liked Goldie Hawn. How can you not like someone who seems so fresh and happy all the time? But I think she might be fighting a little too hard against time. I mean, it's kind of cute that her grandchild calls her "Glamma."

But at some point she has to face it--she's not this girl anymore.

Goldie--the Laugh-in Years

You see, friends, today is Goldie Hawn's birthday. Her 60th birthday. And on this day, I have a message for this adorable celeb:

Happy birthday, Goldie! You're a golden oldie! You can sock it to us any time! But you're wandering dangerously near Charo territory here. I think it's officially time to start trying to age with a little grace.

Favorite Christmas Cookie

Vote for your favorite Christmas cookie here!

Or tell me YOUR favorite Christmas cookie. I bet it has something to do with your grandma!

Here are the candidates:

Classic Sugar Cookie

My Great-Grandmother's Specialty

Old-Fashioned Oatmeal Gumdrop Cookies

Peppermint Cookies

Sweet, and just a little bit tart, and very yummy.

Cranberry Chocolate Chip Cookies

Time for a VOTE!

If you were to watch a movie at home this weekend--or, say, at someone's very small personal gathering--what would you want that movie to be?

Would you watch the first Christmas movie of the season? Or a Thanksgiving-themed flick? Or just an old favorite?

Vote on your choice(s). I've helpfully divided them into categories :-) and linked the ones some may not be as familiar with.

HEARTWARMING CHRISTMAS CLASSICS:
It's a Wonderful Life
White Christmas
Miracle on 34th Street
The Bishop's Wife
Meet me in St. Louis

FUNNY CHRISTMAS CLASSICS:
A Christmas Story
Scrooged

NOMINALLY THANKSGIVING-ISH MOVIES:
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (because the new movie comes out this weekend, is how it's Thanksgiving-ish. A stretch, I know.)

COLLECTION OF HOLIDAY 'TOONS:
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas (to be screened consecutively)

You can vote more than once (write-in candidates are fine!), and we'll have a runoff.

An even easier way to help

If you're not going to be able to make a shoe box for Operation Christmas Child this year, there is another great way you can help that will take practically no time, yet could make a huge difference to a family in need. Visit the website of Samaritan's Purse and click on their Christmas catalogue. In it, you'll find lots of great Christmas gifts you can buy for hurting people around the world. You don't have to make a huge financial commitment to make a big difference. For instance, only $9 can buy a week's worth of food for an infant, or $10 can buy a starter brood of chicks that can be raised into enough chickens to keep a family supplied with eggs. A $70 gift will buy a goat to provide a family with fresh milk every day. There are lots of things to choose from in all price ranges, and it's a fun and satisfying way to help, since you can choose exactly how your money will be used.

Speaking of former classmates...

who are out there making it happen, has everyone seen Toby Meuli's new Taco Bell commercial? It aired last night during LOST, and he's the featured character in it. Someone asks him how the new burrito is and he does these sort of lunatic moves--sort of like an interpretive dance of how the burrito makes him feel, or something--and says something along the lines of, "Spicy... Cheesy... Flavor-y!" It's kind of a dorky commercial, but, hey, way to go Toby! I mean, over 20 million people watch LOST, so that's some pretty good exposure.

Separated at Birth?

Who knew the Chanster was so hip and current?

But seriously, the resemblance here is uncanny. Or should I say unChanny?! Ba-dum-bump!

A little surprise

Check out this Amazon page. Pay special attention to the author's name. Yup. One and the same.

Open letter to all city-dwellers.

Get. Rid. Of. The. Effin. Car. Alarm.

This is no longer 1986. Nobody even glances up when a car alarm goes off. Why? Because they're ubiquitous, they're a nuisance, and they're false alarms the 95-99% of the time. The only thing they're good for is (A) making you feel cool and (B) annoying everybody else!

Get Lojack. Get a car alarm paging system. Get brake locks. Just get rid of the siren alarm!

There. My Ed Anger moment of the day.

OCC Update

Okay~it looks like we have narrowed it down to two options for our Operation Christmas Child get-together. One would be Saturday evening (after Queen3 gets off work) the other would be Sunday afternoon. If we do it on Sunday, we would need to get started fairly early (1:30 or so) because I would have to leave by about 4:00 to give myself plenty of time to drop the boxes off in Mesquite by 5:00.

Let me know which you prefer! And feel free to invite others--I have done a pretty bad job of advertising this. Of course it will be tons of fun with just us chickens!

Poems for a Tuesday

Maybe it's all the fog and office buildings, but I'm feeling a little Carl Sandburg-y today. Here are a couple:

"God Is No Gentleman"
1953

God gets up in the morning
and says, "Another day?"
God goes to work every day
at regular hours.
God is no gentleman for God
puts on overalls and gets
dirty running the universe we know
about and several other universes
nobody knows about but Him.

"Theme in Yellow"

1916

I SPOT the hills

With yellow balls in autumn.

I light the prairie cornfields

Orange and tawny gold clusters

And I am called pumpkins.

On the last of October

When dusk is fallen

Children join hands

And circle round me

Singing ghost songs

And love to the harvest moon;

I am a jack-o'-lantern

With terrible teeth

And the children know

I am fooling.

Operation Christmas Child Party

Hey, gang. Here's a little idea that began percolating in my head this morning. I hope you will take part! Should be lots of fun.

For those of you who aren't familiar with it, Operation Christmas Child is a project of Samaritan's Purse, Franklin Graham's nonprofit. Through Operation Christmas Child, you can pack a shoe box full of little toys and goodies for children in the very poorest of countries around the world. These are not only kids who would not otherwise receive Christmas gifts, but some of them are also kids who have never heard about Christ at all. You simply choose the age and sex of the child you wish to provide for, pick out some gifts and treats (abiding by a few simple guidelines), label the box, include a $5 check for shipping, and take it to one of many drop-off locations. Operation Christmas Child workers will include a Christian pamphlet with each gift. You can include a personal note and photo if you like. This is a fun, fulfilling way to do a good deed, and coming, as it does, just before Thanksgiving, it's a satisfying way to outwardly express your thankfulness for what you have.

If you'd like to participate in Operation Christmas Child, I would be happy to collect the boxes and drop them off. While plans are not firm, I'm thinking on Nov. 19th or 20th, we'll have a little get-together at our place (there may even be homemade cookies!) to collect the boxes and just generally hang out. Festive! And philanthropic! I'll have gift wrapping supplies on hand if you want to wrap your box (lids must be wrapped separately, so the organization can safety-check the boxes), and the required rubber bands for closing them.

You can read up on the organization here. If you choose to do a box, the form (pdf) is here.

Please pass this along to anyone who may be interested. I'll update you on the get-together when I've firmed up plans (read: talked to my husband about it!)

Happy Friday!
A-Dub

This is why I have a gun.

Earlier this week, a 66-year-old Arlington, Texas grandmother was at home with her daughter and granddaughter when a 22-year-old male intruder broke into their home. While her granddaughter dialed 911, the grandmother, Susan Buxton, retrieved her .38 and threatened to shoot the intruder. Underestimating Mrs. Buxton's intestinal fortitude, the criminal lunged for the gun. She shot him. Twice.

Good for her. She did exactly what she needed to do to protect her family and herself. Who knows what this guy would have done to them? Most criminals do not break into people's homes while the residents are there--at least, not the ones who are only there to rob. The ones who do so are either out of their minds on drugs or are bent on violence. In fact, I would state that the only thing she did wrong is aim too low. No kidding--police instructors and licensing instructors teach to aim for the midsection, as it is the easiest to hit while under stress, and the most likely to stop a perpetrator.

The 911 call has been released, and Mrs. Buxton's story has been featured on a couple of radio talk shows today. While it was picked up by the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, it is conspicuously absent from the Dallas Morning News website. Typical of the media who only report negative instances of gun use, and almost never mention the thousands of times each year responsible gun owners use their weapons to thwart crimes. Earlier this year a grandmother shopping at a Wal-Mart in (I think) New Mexico used her concealed-carry to shoot (and, I believe, kill) a man who was stabbing his estranged wife, a Wal-Mart employee. She saved the woman's life.

Make your own online flipbook!

Okay, I know I just said how busy I am, but this is just way too cool not to pass along. You can draw your own flipbook here (with nifty features that make it really easy to see what you have drawn in preceding frames) and it will animate it for you.

Want to see my first effort? Here's the link, though I'm not sure whether or not it will work. You can also search for "a-dub" under authors. It's called "Arrow through heart."

Okay, now back to work. For real this time.

Wednesday Morning Haiku

Dear God in Heaven!
Fifty-seven hours until
Friday afternoon...


Okay, I know that's a terrible haiku. But what do you want from me, it's 8:25 on a freaking Wednesday morning and I have lots of horrible work to do today. However, I hope this lame attempt will inspire you to contribute your own haiku!

All I want for Christmas...

is this.

"My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse."

Grab your secret decoder ring!

Well, who knew blogging would be as dangerous an activity as being a defense lawyer for a Saddam crony? Fortunately, I survived yesterday's pirate attack. Not without some titillating doubles entendres from the briny bunch, but hey, all in a day's work.

I was pretty relieved when they finally got out of there, though. I love the Johnny-Depp-style-flamboyant-pirate look as much as the next girl, but I had to use half a bottle of Febreze to rid An Awfully Big Adventure of the commingling odors of fish and rum.

Now... speaking of flamboyant pirates (how's that for a segue?!) I hope you all tuned in to Arrested Development last night! Two fantastic episodes. I don't want to give anything away to those of you (lame-o's!) who haven't watched it yet, so I'll encode the spoilers. Since the show has practically no plot, this stuff doesn't really give anything away; I'm just being circumspect. (If you don't know how this works, it's extreeeeemely high-tech... you click and drag to "select" the text you can't see.)

1. How funny were those episodes? I just sit there sometimes, wondering how the heck they get away with some of the stuff they do! Does the "P" word really mean that in England? I've never heard it used that way before...
2. Why won't the writers give Maeby something fun to do? She's so adorable and funny--let's ditch the "movie executive" subplot, which is going nowhere fast.
3. Anyone who didn't already know that Rita was mildly retarded, well, may be retarded himself. No offense.
4. I almost fell off the couch during the "Godzilla" scene. Utterly brilliant.
5. Steve Holt (STEVE HOLT!) is growing on me. All that stuff about hanging out with "Uncle Mike" was pretty cute. We need some scenes of him bonding with his new cousin George Michael! And I loved Buster's line, "Heeeeey, possible nephew."
6. I'm so glad Jason Bateman got his throat operated on. He sounded awful in last night's shows.
7. I'm really happy that Charlize's episodes are almost past us. Sure, she's pretty, and maybe she's drawing a few more people to watch the show, but GAD! her accent sucks! There were even a couple of wink-and-nod moments in last night's shows that I think could have been a reference to how bad her accent is. Including Gob's hilarious, "she's Britishish."


Okay, back to spoiler-free talk. If you haven't seen Ricky Gervais' new show "Extras," you MUST. The first season (only six measly episodes) just wrapped up on HBO, but I think I read somewhere that they're going to play it again. If not, or if you don't have HBO, make sure you rent the DVDs when they come out. It's unbelievably funny, but deeper than "The Office." So if you're one of those people who couldn't quite stand the sickening level of uncomfortableness that pervaded "The Office," "Extras" may be for you. It's about the lives of two movie extras who are trying to make it as "real" actors. Ricky Gervais shows that he can do something other than David Brent and his best friend Maggie is a constant treat as the 35-year-old Scottish free spirit who says pretty much exactly whatever is in her mind at any given moment. They're characters rather than caricatures, and their relationship is as funny and complex as a real friendship (without any romantic overtones, which is refreshing). Actually, their friendship reminds me just a little of two people who are among the very small number actually reading this crap.

Okay, now I feel like such a lame-ass for writing a whole long post about TV. I swear I have a life! It's just that my life is slightly improved by the above shows, plus "House," "LOST," and "The (American) Office." That's all.

Tomorrow: Something literary and brilliant.

Shiver me timbers!

We're in deep waters now, mateys.

In keeping with the current disheartening international trends, this Monday morning, An Awfully Big Adventure was boarded by pirates! The blackguards have tied A-Dub to the mizzen and threatened her with keelhauling! Poor Norma was forced to swab the decks lest she receive "a taste of the cat," and dear old Max was unceremoniously sent to his fate in the briny deep.

Begad, me buckos, these scurvy dogs must be scuppered immediately! The high seas are no place for privateering addlepates in this day and age! Will ye take up cutlass against the foe, me hearties? Handsomely, now, boys, the bilge-sucking bastards are lashing the plank to the starboard side, and I don't like the way they're looking at A-Dub!

Fairwinds and Godspeed!

Hairy Anne,
Bosun's Mate

Looking for something to do this weekend?

Here are some weekend ideas, both for fun and for personal edification:
1. Vote
2. See Capote.
3. Knit a simple scarf for the coming cold months.
4. Read up on the beautiful land of Wales.
5. Go Christmas shopping !

I am personally almost done with my own Christmas shopping--I've even wrapped most of the gifts we're giving. Mind you, I'm not bragging. It's sort of a disease. Christmasmania, I like to call it. As diseases go, you could do worse.

Reluctantly flagging down the bandwagon and climbing aboard.

Well, a certain blog I visited this morning forced me to create a blog in order to post a comment, so I thought, "Well... why not?" Please keep in mind this is only a test.

Meanwhile, it's Friday (thank the sweet Lord), traffic is awful, Washington is a cesspool, and Paris is burning . So, in other words, God's in his heaven and all's right with the world.