Grab your secret decoder ring!

Well, who knew blogging would be as dangerous an activity as being a defense lawyer for a Saddam crony? Fortunately, I survived yesterday's pirate attack. Not without some titillating doubles entendres from the briny bunch, but hey, all in a day's work.

I was pretty relieved when they finally got out of there, though. I love the Johnny-Depp-style-flamboyant-pirate look as much as the next girl, but I had to use half a bottle of Febreze to rid An Awfully Big Adventure of the commingling odors of fish and rum.

Now... speaking of flamboyant pirates (how's that for a segue?!) I hope you all tuned in to Arrested Development last night! Two fantastic episodes. I don't want to give anything away to those of you (lame-o's!) who haven't watched it yet, so I'll encode the spoilers. Since the show has practically no plot, this stuff doesn't really give anything away; I'm just being circumspect. (If you don't know how this works, it's extreeeeemely high-tech... you click and drag to "select" the text you can't see.)

1. How funny were those episodes? I just sit there sometimes, wondering how the heck they get away with some of the stuff they do! Does the "P" word really mean that in England? I've never heard it used that way before...
2. Why won't the writers give Maeby something fun to do? She's so adorable and funny--let's ditch the "movie executive" subplot, which is going nowhere fast.
3. Anyone who didn't already know that Rita was mildly retarded, well, may be retarded himself. No offense.
4. I almost fell off the couch during the "Godzilla" scene. Utterly brilliant.
5. Steve Holt (STEVE HOLT!) is growing on me. All that stuff about hanging out with "Uncle Mike" was pretty cute. We need some scenes of him bonding with his new cousin George Michael! And I loved Buster's line, "Heeeeey, possible nephew."
6. I'm so glad Jason Bateman got his throat operated on. He sounded awful in last night's shows.
7. I'm really happy that Charlize's episodes are almost past us. Sure, she's pretty, and maybe she's drawing a few more people to watch the show, but GAD! her accent sucks! There were even a couple of wink-and-nod moments in last night's shows that I think could have been a reference to how bad her accent is. Including Gob's hilarious, "she's Britishish."


Okay, back to spoiler-free talk. If you haven't seen Ricky Gervais' new show "Extras," you MUST. The first season (only six measly episodes) just wrapped up on HBO, but I think I read somewhere that they're going to play it again. If not, or if you don't have HBO, make sure you rent the DVDs when they come out. It's unbelievably funny, but deeper than "The Office." So if you're one of those people who couldn't quite stand the sickening level of uncomfortableness that pervaded "The Office," "Extras" may be for you. It's about the lives of two movie extras who are trying to make it as "real" actors. Ricky Gervais shows that he can do something other than David Brent and his best friend Maggie is a constant treat as the 35-year-old Scottish free spirit who says pretty much exactly whatever is in her mind at any given moment. They're characters rather than caricatures, and their relationship is as funny and complex as a real friendship (without any romantic overtones, which is refreshing). Actually, their friendship reminds me just a little of two people who are among the very small number actually reading this crap.

Okay, now I feel like such a lame-ass for writing a whole long post about TV. I swear I have a life! It's just that my life is slightly improved by the above shows, plus "House," "LOST," and "The (American) Office." That's all.

Tomorrow: Something literary and brilliant.