And I just told you I wouldn't be posting for awhile...
Living on Frat Row is making me misanthropic in a big way.
Since I've decided that going to war with the neighbors is irresponsible and immature, I will vent my ire to you, my loyal reader, whoever you are.
People: It's a recycling bin. Not a trash can. You can tell because of how it says RECYCLING on it, and also (because I realize you may very well be illiterate) because of that big, funny symbol with the arrows forming a sort of triangle thingie?
That means, your garbage (half-full beer cans, Tropicana carton) does not go in it.
Also, your garbage does not go next to it on the curb. Yes, putting a bag of trash on my curb does make the trash go away, but only because I have to haul the thing to the Dumpster for you. I am not your garbage man.
Furthermore--it is MY recycling bin. Not only does this mean that you are not allowed to put trash in or near it, it also means that you are not allowed to move it, knock it over, or pick it up and throw it into my yard.
What do you have against my recycling bin? What can my recycling bin have EVER done to offend you? Seriously? I could see you having a problem if I decided to put a giant inflatable snowglobe or a strobe light in my front yard (don't worry, Cachinnator--never going to happen). I could see you having a problem if I decided to hit golf balls into a giant piece of plywood at 12:30 on a Wednesday night (oops, wait a second. Other of our neighbors have actually done this!) But seriously. My little blue recycling bin? Even the hardest-hearted among you can't have a problem with recycling!
So clearly you have a problem with me or someone living in my house. This I do not understand. We are ideal neighbors. We do not call the cops about your parties (okay, well, maybe once, but you were attacking my recycling bin before that). We don't have a barking dog or a crying baby or loud music. We mind our own business.
Therefore, you obviously have no reason to hate us. So there can only be one logical answer:
You are a despicable cretin.
Whew. Thanks, reader. I really needed to get that off my chest.
Next time on An Awfully Big Adventure: A-Dub rants about people who occasionally feed stray cats--they are humane enough to sort of keep the cat alive and hanging around, but not humane enough to take it in or to the no-kill shelter! Discussion to follow.
Since I've decided that going to war with the neighbors is irresponsible and immature, I will vent my ire to you, my loyal reader, whoever you are.
People: It's a recycling bin. Not a trash can. You can tell because of how it says RECYCLING on it, and also (because I realize you may very well be illiterate) because of that big, funny symbol with the arrows forming a sort of triangle thingie?
That means, your garbage (half-full beer cans, Tropicana carton) does not go in it.
Also, your garbage does not go next to it on the curb. Yes, putting a bag of trash on my curb does make the trash go away, but only because I have to haul the thing to the Dumpster for you. I am not your garbage man.
Furthermore--it is MY recycling bin. Not only does this mean that you are not allowed to put trash in or near it, it also means that you are not allowed to move it, knock it over, or pick it up and throw it into my yard.
What do you have against my recycling bin? What can my recycling bin have EVER done to offend you? Seriously? I could see you having a problem if I decided to put a giant inflatable snowglobe or a strobe light in my front yard (don't worry, Cachinnator--never going to happen). I could see you having a problem if I decided to hit golf balls into a giant piece of plywood at 12:30 on a Wednesday night (oops, wait a second. Other of our neighbors have actually done this!) But seriously. My little blue recycling bin? Even the hardest-hearted among you can't have a problem with recycling!
So clearly you have a problem with me or someone living in my house. This I do not understand. We are ideal neighbors. We do not call the cops about your parties (okay, well, maybe once, but you were attacking my recycling bin before that). We don't have a barking dog or a crying baby or loud music. We mind our own business.
Therefore, you obviously have no reason to hate us. So there can only be one logical answer:
You are a despicable cretin.
Whew. Thanks, reader. I really needed to get that off my chest.
Next time on An Awfully Big Adventure: A-Dub rants about people who occasionally feed stray cats--they are humane enough to sort of keep the cat alive and hanging around, but not humane enough to take it in or to the no-kill shelter! Discussion to follow.
Labels: cretins, frat boys, lower life forms, misanthropy
posted by AmberO at Sleeping is for Sissies at 10:01 PM
6 comment(s)
from:
Tracy,
The Cliff,
Queen, III,
,
Fork,
Tracy,
6 Comments:
If you make the Mary Poppins red scarf, please post pictures. It's too cute!
Sucks about the neighbors. I just started looking for a house/condo/duplex/apartment to rent and have been very weary about looking near JoB University because of said Frat Boys. However, if you see a nice 2 bedroom place in a reasonable price range that will be available in June Let me know!!
FRAT BOYS SUUUUUCKKK!!! For some reason, the TCU boys LOVE to come hang out in my neck of the woods, and I have to refrain myself from starting fights with them every time! (Please note that I cannot fight.)
Glad to hear about the state of the yard.
I affirm and support your decision not to go to war as well.
However... maybe a very little guerrilla warfare might be acceptable. Have NO pee in their bushes every night for example. Start killing all their flora. They might not even notice, but I bet you'd giggle about it.
Post-its with the word "MINE!" work too.
Hi A-Dub...just wanted to say that I hope you had a Merry Christmas and that your 2007 is full of joy and blessings!
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