Intercepted Celebrity Email!!!
From: Mia Farrow <rosemary68@sinatrafan.com>
To: Angelina Jolie <unicefmama@jolie-pitt.nam>
Date: June 16, 2006 12:34:24
Subject: The Best Mommy in the Whole Wide World!!!!!!!!
Dear Angelina:
Congratulations to you and what's-his-name on the birth of little Shiloh. I think that's really sweet. I had a dog named Shiloh once; it's a great name. I'm also really excited about all your wonderful works with the UN. I mean, it's definitely a better image to cultivate than "Billy-Bob marrying self-mutilator" or "Gia/Tomb Raider/Girl, Interrupted star." (I know, you won an Oscar for that last one, but let's face it, your pornographic pillow lips won that Oscar, not your performance, honey. Just being honest! LOVE YOU!!!!!)
Also, I think it's just super that you've adopted two orphans from impoverished areas of the world. I even thought it was a great idea when I did it, decades ago! Oh, what, did you forget? Because I haven't been getting too much press lately? Well, just a little reminder. It's been done. And it's been done better than you will ever do it. That's right, bitch. Fourteen--count 'em--FOURTEEN frickin' adorable little wide-eyed waifs from all over the world. (Well, some of them may be my biological kids, but frankly, at this point, who knows?)
So my message to you is, you think you're some kind of U.N.-goddess, benevolent, one-world mother-of-the-year? All I can say to that is:
To: Angelina Jolie <unicefmama@jolie-pitt.nam>
Date: June 16, 2006 12:34:24
Subject: The Best Mommy in the Whole Wide World!!!!!!!!
Dear Angelina:
Congratulations to you and what's-his-name on the birth of little Shiloh. I think that's really sweet. I had a dog named Shiloh once; it's a great name. I'm also really excited about all your wonderful works with the UN. I mean, it's definitely a better image to cultivate than "Billy-Bob marrying self-mutilator" or "Gia/Tomb Raider/Girl, Interrupted star." (I know, you won an Oscar for that last one, but let's face it, your pornographic pillow lips won that Oscar, not your performance, honey. Just being honest! LOVE YOU!!!!!)
Also, I think it's just super that you've adopted two orphans from impoverished areas of the world. I even thought it was a great idea when I did it, decades ago! Oh, what, did you forget? Because I haven't been getting too much press lately? Well, just a little reminder. It's been done. And it's been done better than you will ever do it. That's right, bitch. Fourteen--count 'em--FOURTEEN frickin' adorable little wide-eyed waifs from all over the world. (Well, some of them may be my biological kids, but frankly, at this point, who knows?)
So my message to you is, you think you're some kind of U.N.-goddess, benevolent, one-world mother-of-the-year? All I can say to that is:
BRING IT, BITCH.
A picture of me and just a few of my darlings.
LOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!!!,
Mia.
PS: A word to the wise. They don't stay babies forever. Install nanny-cams in Zahara's room now and keep what's-his-name on a short leash. -MF (MotherFarrow)
posted by AmberO at Sleeping is for Sissies at 10:56 PM
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