Stuff that annoys me, Part XII
Because nothing's more fun than reading about annoying stuff. Am I right, people?!
1. People who say "asterix." It's asterisk. Learn it, love it, live it.
2. People who misuse the word "myriad," which is about 92% of the people who use the word "myriad." And the thing is, it's soooo easy to get right. Here are the rules: "myriad" is an ADJECTIVE, not a noun. You use it exactly the way you would use its workaday synonym, "many."
Correct: There are myriad opportunities for cultural enrichment in Everycity.
Incorrect: There is a myriad of opportunities for cultural enrichment in Everycity. (This is exactly the same as saying, "There is a many of opportunities," which just makes the speaker sound like a monkey, or at best, a foreigner.)
3. The song "Jingle Bells." Although to say that "Jingle Bells" annoys me is a vast understatement. It makes me want to claw my eyes out, then set myself on fire, dashing my sightless head against a brick wall as the life force escapes my tortured carcass.
4. The dastardly non-words that have crept into our spoken language. Supposively for supposedly, anyways for anyway, and the most atrocious of all, "laters." All of the above were once the domain of note-passing junior high girls with big, bubbly cursive handwriting replete with heart-dotted-i's. As in, "Dylan totally tried to make out with me at the game even though he is supposively going out with Becca!!!! But whatever cuz he's ugly anyways. Laters... dAkOtA. ps Did you bring your lunch. pps LYLAS!!!!!" Sadly, they have somehow made their way into common usage, branding their unwitting users as ignorant dolts wherever they are spoken. Nothing sounds sillier than a 45-year-old businesswoman ending a cell phone call to a colleage with, "Laters, babe."
5. Unnecessary paperwork. Back in my day (ah, aught-two... I remember it well), salaried employees didn't have to fill out time sheets. Why should they? They're salaried. There's never going to be any variance in their bi-weekly paychecks. Yet, here at the American Institute for Political Study (a pseudonym), I have to fill out a time sheet complete with project name, project code, allocation code, and percentage of time I have spent on each project in the last two weeks. Annoying, but I finally figured out what all the codes meant and got used to it. Until today, when we got a new time sheet, which is to be turned in at the end of every week. This one is broken up by each day, and requires not only all the above codes and numbers, but also an hourly accounting of our location and how many individual hours of each day are spent on which individual project (mind you, I usually have about eight discrete projects going on at any time). But, I've got a feeling I'm going to be stuck, because there isn't a project code for "Trying to figure out how to fill out this stupid sheet."
*For a handy-dandy list of commonly misused words--and simple tips for remembering how to use them correctly--go here.
1. People who say "asterix." It's asterisk. Learn it, love it, live it.
2. People who misuse the word "myriad," which is about 92% of the people who use the word "myriad." And the thing is, it's soooo easy to get right. Here are the rules: "myriad" is an ADJECTIVE, not a noun. You use it exactly the way you would use its workaday synonym, "many."
Correct: There are myriad opportunities for cultural enrichment in Everycity.
Incorrect: There is a myriad of opportunities for cultural enrichment in Everycity. (This is exactly the same as saying, "There is a many of opportunities," which just makes the speaker sound like a monkey, or at best, a foreigner.)
3. The song "Jingle Bells." Although to say that "Jingle Bells" annoys me is a vast understatement. It makes me want to claw my eyes out, then set myself on fire, dashing my sightless head against a brick wall as the life force escapes my tortured carcass.
4. The dastardly non-words that have crept into our spoken language. Supposively for supposedly, anyways for anyway, and the most atrocious of all, "laters." All of the above were once the domain of note-passing junior high girls with big, bubbly cursive handwriting replete with heart-dotted-i's. As in, "Dylan totally tried to make out with me at the game even though he is supposively going out with Becca!!!! But whatever cuz he's ugly anyways. Laters... dAkOtA. ps Did you bring your lunch. pps LYLAS!!!!!" Sadly, they have somehow made their way into common usage, branding their unwitting users as ignorant dolts wherever they are spoken. Nothing sounds sillier than a 45-year-old businesswoman ending a cell phone call to a colleage with, "Laters, babe."
5. Unnecessary paperwork. Back in my day (ah, aught-two... I remember it well), salaried employees didn't have to fill out time sheets. Why should they? They're salaried. There's never going to be any variance in their bi-weekly paychecks. Yet, here at the American Institute for Political Study (a pseudonym), I have to fill out a time sheet complete with project name, project code, allocation code, and percentage of time I have spent on each project in the last two weeks. Annoying, but I finally figured out what all the codes meant and got used to it. Until today, when we got a new time sheet, which is to be turned in at the end of every week. This one is broken up by each day, and requires not only all the above codes and numbers, but also an hourly accounting of our location and how many individual hours of each day are spent on which individual project (mind you, I usually have about eight discrete projects going on at any time). But, I've got a feeling I'm going to be stuck, because there isn't a project code for "Trying to figure out how to fill out this stupid sheet."
*For a handy-dandy list of commonly misused words--and simple tips for remembering how to use them correctly--go here.
posted by AmberO at Sleeping is for Sissies at 10:50 AM
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3 Comments:
What about the incorrect usage of "misnomer"?
Hey, I really like that link you put by the asterix at the end of your blog.
How do people incorrectly use "misnomer?" I'm not familiar with that one.
That link made me think (said the Cat in the Hat). I have been guilty of misusing "hopefully" on myriad occasions.
Also, I will always be grateful to JJo for (long ago) pointing out the subtle distinction between "jealous" and "envious." That's another one I screw up from time to time.
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